Mindfulness: A Tool to Fix Everything, or a Shift in Perspective?
by Kathryn
The first time I came across the word mindfulness, I was curious. After trying a few short practices, I was even more curious. What was this technique that seemed to be appearing everywhere? I even signed up for a Mindful Photography course without really knowing what I’d enrolled in.
What I’ve learned since then is that, although mindfulness can have therapeutic value, it isn’t the same as therapy. In therapy, we enter into a relationship with another person who helps us grow and understand ourselves. In mindfulness, we enter into a relationship with ourselves, with the aim of accepting who we are just as we are.
Learning to be present
My first formal mindfulness training was with the Mindfulness Association. But it wasn’t until the second year of training that things really shifted for me.
Initially, I learned how to be present: how to live in the here and now, and how to use simple techniques to anchor myself. But in the second year, I discovered something deeper—that mindfulness isn’t just about being present with ourselves. It’s about turning towards our experience with kindness and compassion.
I won’t pretend this was comfortable. For years, I was an expert at burying difficult emotions beneath busyness and distraction. Meeting myself honestly, warts and all, required an enormous amount of gentleness. This is why it’s often recommended that people don’t undertake intensive mindfulness training during the rawness of recent trauma or loss.
Coming off autopilot
Living mindfully now means paying attention to what’s happening around me—and within me.
Before mindfulness, I would walk my dog and return home unsure of the route I’d taken. I lived much of my life on autopilot. Losing my keys, misplacing my purse, arriving at work without my bag—these were daily occurrences. I once even drove away with my handbag still sitting on the roof of my car.
Does any of that sound familiar?
As I continued to practise, I began to feel more present in my daily life. I noticed more. I connected more with my surroundings, with my relationships, with myself. That shift alone had a huge impact.
But presence also brought awareness of what was happening inside me my emotions, sensations, and thought patterns. This is where mindfulness can get challenging. Looking inward can stir up old memories, uncomfortable feelings, and stories we’ve long avoided. I resisted at first. Most of us do.
Letting the experience be what it is
Mindfulness invites us to notice what’s happening while it’s happening, without judgement or the urge to fix it. It’s about allowing our experience to be exactly as it is.
A short practice called The Compassion Break, introduced by Kristin Neff and Chris Germer, has been especially helpful for me. It has three simple parts:
Mindfulness
Acknowledge what’s here; this hurts, this is stressful, this is uncomfortable.
Common Humanity
Recognise that struggle is part of being human; others feel this too. I’m not alone.
Self-kindness
Offer yourself compassion perhaps a hand on the heart, a gentle touch, or simply permission to feel what you feel.
These small moments of self-kindness can transform the way we relate to ourselves.
What I noticed today
So, what happens when we step off autopilot and really pay attention?
Today, I noticed the gulls diving into the waves and soaring on the wind.
I noticed the expression in my dog’s eyes and paused to be with him.
I noticed a friend needed to talk, and I gave him the space.
I noticed I was tired and allowed myself to sit with a coffee.
I let go of rushing, and in that small moment of pause, I let things be just as they are.
This, for me, is mindfulness not a tool to fix everything, but a gentle, ongoing shift in how I meet my life.